With the school running out of tissue paper I had to
investigate what was going on. It is not normal that every time you turn the
hallway you see somebody with a red nose and big puffy eyes that need serious
makeup attention. So I went to my source of all things info, my friend, Becky
Halls.
“Becks can you please explain to me why there are a lot of
people who should really consider carrying a bucket with them so that they can donate
all those pounds of tears to the thirsting children of Africa”
“Ok. A. That’s gross. And B. Duhh! All the admissions
letters are out,” Becky said as if everyone knew.
“The admission-who now?”
“Uhh Hello! The thing that comes sneaking into your mailbox
like a little male ninja who is only out to kill with his awesomely genuine Assassin’s
Creed Altair sword”
I looked at her as if she was speaking to me in Mandarin,
not the fruit, the language.
“You know what Lils you are playing me right now because I
know you know what they are. When you filed your college applications you must’ve
known that they were sending you a letter that said whether or not…. Oh I get
it,” she said as if she hit the jackpot.
I sat there waiting for ego to take a chill pill so she
could tell me WHAT IT IS SHE GOT!!
“I know what it is. You are miss rich girl who only speaks
in emoticons and ‘lol’s. Well, my sweet..sweet innocent child, who should
really get more in touch with the world, there are things called let-ters,” she said making sure to pronounce
‘letters’ in a way that a deaf person
could understand, “It’s like a piece of paper with WORDS!....HANDWRITTEN WORDS….with
your Hand.”
“Oh Stop it!! I know what letters are!”
“Wait. Are you telling me you really don’t know what an ‘admissions
letter’ is?”
My patience was growing thin. I had to speak in her terms in
order for her to understand!
“’Ye-ssss’…It is
thee opposite of ‘N-o’,” I said to her in the same tone of
voice she used earlier with me.
“Ok. What college did you apply to?”
“Well, whichever one was my Home College”
“Uhh… Ukay! Ya lost me”
You know, sometimes I think that maybe Becky is dumb because
I find myself knowing more than her most of the time. Pssh!
“Oh my gosh Becks. Do I really have to explain everything.
Use my precious, limited voice, on this simple unnecessary answer?”
I could see that her patience was growing thin too.
“Well my sweet and
innocent child when you graduate from elementary school you get this thing assigned
to you called your ‘Home middle school’ and then once middle schools over you
get a ‘Home High school’ and then the
same goes for when you finish High school. Must I go on?’,” I said with such
poise and confidence.
The look on Becky’s face was one that I cannot describe. She
was mad yet confused yet there was a hint of sympathy with a dash of murder. I
was getting kind of scared.
“So….Lilly!... What I am hearing is…that… you never submitted
an application for a college!!,” she said raging in fumes.
“A. Stop yelling. It
makes your eyes pop out in a way that is very unattractive and B. Calm down.
Ok. I didn’t need to apply for anything I have my home college. We’ve never had to apply to a school, that was if we
wanted a certain school but if we didn’t care then the system would
automatically send you to your home college. Becky… my voice! Can I please stop
talking cuz it looks like I just won this discussion.. Boo Ya!”
“Lilly. Look at me. You know how you’ve always talked about
college and how you can’t wait to be in those dorm rooms and how you’re gonna
paint it all pink even though you can’t and it’s against all school policies,”
she said looking straight into my eyes , “Well guess what….”
I waited there for her to continue. Then I started thinking ‘Does she want me to actually guess?....’
“Lils! You’re not going to College!”
